


Wait, are we dating?

by Anw



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Idiots in Love, it's really silly, kind of a 5+1 fic but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25884919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anw/pseuds/Anw
Summary: A series of the times that Trixie and Katya have been mistaken as a couple, before the realize they've kind of been dating the whole time.
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 30
Kudos: 156





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fic in this fandom, it's very self-indulgent and maybe not that great, but it certainly exists! I'd like to thank Acid Beta for looking this fic over and for encouraging me to write this with her enthusiasm, it wouldn't have been finished without her.

Ginger glances over at Katya who has been making laps around the bench they’re meant to be resting on for the past ten minutes, “Can you settle down, you’re making me dizzy.”

“Sorry, I’m just nervous,” Katya responds, coming to a stop in front of Ginger and bouncing on her feet while she shakes out her nervous limbs slightly. 

Katya doesn’t even know why she’s nervous. She is pretty sure that Ginger and Trixie will get along, or at the very least respect each other, but something about them potentially not getting along has Katya’s stomach in knots for a reason she can’t quite place. She’s had a small swarm of butterflies in her stomach all morning and she woke up hours before her alarm, too wound up to stay asleep. 

She chalks it up to the fact that Ginger has been an important person in her life for a6many years and is someone that she relies on to keep her sane. She would probably, no definitely, be in a much worse place if it weren’t for Ginger not allowing her to become completely paralyzed by her anxiety. Meanwhile, she only met Trixie a handful of weeks ago, but she has quickly become one of her favorite people because they just seem to click, Trixie understands her and can keep up with her in a way that ¹1qinii in her apartment and self destructing. On the other hand she feels weird telling Ginger what is actually bothering her, and she isn’t even sure she understands it herself. She forces the first excuse she can think of out of her mouth, “I’m just worried, Trixie isn’t usually late.” 

It’s not a total lie, Trixie is usually annoyingly on time. It’s the biggest cause for arguments in their friendship since Katya runs on her own time, which is usually an hour or so behind everyone else. Trixie is constantly having to remind Katya of when they are supposed to meet up, often telling her to be somewhere fifteen minutes before they are actually set to meet. 

Ginger narrows her eyes, checking her phone for the time, “girl, she is only five minutes late,” she says, a bit incredulously. “Also have you met you? You’re never on time to anything.”

Katya resumes her laps around the bench, causing Ginger to sigh before she responds, “yeah, yeah I know I’m the worst, but Trixie isn’t, she’s always on time down to the exact second, this isn’t like her.” 

Now that Katya puts more thought into it, her excuse has only added to her anxieties. What could be happening that is making Trixie late for the first time since Katya has known her, and today of all days. 

“It’s a wonder she’s able to put up with you then,” Ginger teases back. 

Katya wheezes, “don’t I know it.” 

From behind her Katya hears Trixie’s voice call out, “God, I can hear your smoker’s laugh from here, you hag!”

Katya wheezes again as Trixie walks over to them. Katya feels her breathing start to come a little easier now that Trixie is here, there’s no more time for anticipation and worry. 

Trixie reaches them and immediately wraps Katya up in a hug, squeezing her waist lightly. Katya feels herself calm down almost immediately and get swept up in the good mood that being around Trixie always manages to put her in. She returns the hug just as tight and lets out a quiet moan right near Trixie’s ear. Trixie screams and pulls away, lightly hitting Katya on the arm. 

“You’re the worst,” she says, with a fond smile that betrays her sentiment. 

Both girls snap their heads toward Ginger when she clears her throat, a light blush spreading on Trixie’s cheeks when she realizes she forgot to introduce herself. 

“Uh, hi, I’m Trixie,” she says awkwardly, putting her hand out for Ginger to shake. 

Ginger raises her eyebrow at her hand, but shakes it nonetheless. “I’m Ginger, and I was starting to think Katya was making you up, but you really are a living barbie doll with the laugh of a banshee.” 

Trixie screams out a laugh again, looking over to Katya who is looking anywhere but at Trixie, and she thinks she can see a small blush on the tips of her ears. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised to find out she made up a whole person to be honest,” Trixie responds. 

“Well from what she told me, you two have spent a lot of time together, and anyone that can tolerate her for that long is as good as made up,” Ginger says, laughing.

Katya should probably be afraid that her two best friends are teaming up against her, but all she can feel is relief that they’re getting along, even if it’s at her expense. The nerves have left her body only to be replaced by a newfound excitement and warmth. 

“I know I’m stunningly gorgeous and you can’t help but talk about me, but we need to get going,” Katya interrupts. 

Katya turned and started walking ahead of the other two before they can say anything else, missing the way they both rolled their eyes fondly at her. Katya makes it to the door first and holds it open for her friends. The restaurant itself is nothing too fancy, it has dark wood floors and light walls with that generic abstract art that restaurants hang up to make it appear fancier than it really is. 

There aren’t many people inside, probably because it’s a random Tuesday in the middle of the day, so they get seated immediately at a small booth near the back of the restaurant. Ginger and Trixie both slide into opposite sides of the booth, leaving Katya with the decision to choose between which of her friends to sit next to. It shouldn’t be a difficult decision, neither of them will take offense to where she sits, but for some reason it feels like the biggest decision in the world to Katya in this moment. She has a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach that leaves her with sweaty palms, and she can’t figure out what it is about this decision that seems so difficult. Maybe it just feels like she has to pick a favorite friend, even though she knows that isn’t true. That must be it. 

She stands there for what should definitely be considered too long, but before she can come to a decision, Trixie smiles lightly at her and pats the seat next to herself, making Katya’s mind up for her. Relieved, she sits down next to Trixie and feels her hand squeeze her knee lightly, calming her down from her brief panic. From across the table, Ginger is looking at her with her eyebrow slightly raised to which Katya just shrugs, because she doesn’t know what just came over her either. Ginger just shakes her head and looks up to the waitress who is passing out menus and silverware. 

The hostess leaves them with their menus, and shortly after, a friendly looking lady walks over to their table to take their drink orders before leaving them again to go and get their drinks. 

Katya starts to feel the nerves that Trixie and Ginger won’t get along with each other come back, and scrambles to find something to start a conversation about. Her mind draws a blank on anything she could possibly talk about, and Trixie once again saves her from her spiral of thoughts by moving her hand back to her knee and softly saying, “Kat, you have to look at the menu,” reminding Katya that they are here for lunch and that requires her ordering food. 

Trixie always has a way of sensing Katya’s discomfort and defusing the situation and she has never been more grateful for it, even if she is, in a way, responsible for the discomfort in the first place. 

Katya’s eyes come back into focus and she reaches for her menu to find something that she will actually eat. She only notices that Trixie’s hand has been on her knee the whole time when their waitress comes back with their drinks and Trixie needs to use her hand to grab her drink. The loss of contact causes an empty feeling to spread in her stomach, but she chalks it up to hunger considering it is lunch time after all. The waitress takes their orders and leaves to place them in the kitchen, once again leaving Katya to struggle to come up with a conversation to start. 

“So, Trixie, what is it exactly that you do, all Katya told me is that you’re country barbie, but coming from her that could mean anything,” Ginger starts a conversation before Katya can freak out about it anymore. She smiles gratefully at Ginger, relief evident on her face. 

Trixie smiles a bit before she answers, “I’m a makeup artist mainly, but I also sing so I perform at open mics sometimes.” 

“She’s selling herself short, she has a regular gig at a bar and she writes her own music, she’s a songstress mama,” Katya interjects, jumping at the chance to sing her praises about Trixie. 

Katya watches as Trixie blushes slightly and looks down to her lap, uncharacteristically bashful in contrast to her usually unabashedly confident self, who has no problem letting everyone know exactly how talented she is. Before Katya can question her or talk further about her musical talents, Trixie redirects the question to Ginger, who Katya almost forgot was there at all while she was lost observing Trixie. 

“I’m a singer too actually, and an actor, I do musical theater,” Ginger answers. 

Trixie perks up at that, sitting up a bit straighter as she excitedly responds, “Oh I love musical theater! What shows have you been in?” 

Katya tunes out the rest of their conversation, instead focusing on the fact that the two most important people in her life are getting along, and her fears from earlier in the day are thankfully not coming true. She gets lost in her own head again, thinking about how her friends are becoming friends and how she couldn’t be more thrilled. She also feels a little stupid, of course Ginger and Trixie would bond over musical theater, how could she not have thought of that. Katya doesn’t tune back into the conversation until she feels Trixie grab her arm excitedly and say, “right Katya?” 

“Sorry, what?” Katya asks, completely oblivious to anything the two just talked about. It’s not her fault she doesn’t like musical theater, they should both know she wouldn’t follow their conversation. 

“I was just telling Ginger that we watched Rocky Horror together and you liked it, Ginger said she didn’t believe me,” Trixie replies. 

“Oh yeah that movie was wild,” Katya responds, tethering herself back to the moment so she can be present in the conversation. She actually did like Rocky Horror, but she is certain that at least part of the reason she liked it at all was the way Trixie knew all the words to the songs and sang along unabashedly. Her enthusiasm for the film was palpable and she couldn’t help but get swept up in her enthusiasm.

Ginger looks at Katya with a surprised expression, “I thought you hated musical theater, you have never once agreed to watch a musical with me,” she accuses Katya pointedly. 

“But none of the musicals you want me to watch have sexy crossdressers and aliens in them,” Katya fires back. Ginger just narrows her eyes at Katya, not believing that was the reason she would watch a musical with Trixie and not her. 

“You didn’t shut up about Frank N. Furter for weeks,” Trixie groans. 

Katya grins and wiggles around in her seat, “how could I, did you see all that eroticism?” Trixie just groans again and rolls her eyes. 

The rest of their meal goes in much the same way, Trixie and Katya getting wrapped up in each other, while Ginger just watches on, confused and intrigued by the way Katya is behaving toward Trixie. 

They finished their food a little while ago, but stuck around to enjoy each other’s company a little longer. Trixie eventually asks Katya to scoot out of the booth so she can get up to use the bathroom. Katya lets her out of the booth before she scoots back into the booth that suddenly feels very big and empty without Trixie’s grounding warmth next to her. 

Ginger and Katya sit in silence for a few seconds, Ginger observing the way Katya watches Trixie walk away from the table. 

“You know you could’ve just told me you were dating her, right?” Ginger asks. 

Katya lets her eyes linger on Trixie’s retreating form for a second before they snap to meet Ginger’s, registering what she just asked. 

“Who am I dating?” Katya questions back, trying to catch up on something that she clearly missed. 

“Trixie, obviously.” Ginger responds like it’s a fact, and not a speculation that came out of absolutely nowhere. 

Katya just sputters repeatedly, “What, what, what?” 

Katya thinks back through the day, wondering what Ginger possibly could have picked up on that would make her think she is dating Trixie. They get along well and make each other laugh, but so do lots of other people that she is just friends with. 

“Come on Katya, I know you, I love you,” Ginger sighs. 

“Yeah you do,” Katya interrupts, “and you know that I don’t lie to you. ” 

They sit there staring at each other for a few seconds, Katya trying to stand her ground, and Ginger looking for any sign that Katya is lying. 

“Alright, whatever you say,” Ginger relents after finding nothing but conviction in Katya’s stare. 

Katya leaves the conversation at that, but she can’t seem to stop wondering what gave Ginger the impression that her and Trixie are more than just friends. Before she can think too hard about it, Trixie returns to the table, bringing Katya’s good mood back with her and making her forget about Ginger’s mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya and Trixie's movie night gets interrupted by Trixie's roommate, Kim, who mistakes their weekly tradition for a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to anyone who read, commented, or bookmarked, I'm glad people are enjoying this! Thank you again to Acid Beta for reading over this and for encouraging me to write by yelling with me about this story, you're the best!

Katya bounces up the stairs to Trixie’s apartment and raises her hand to knock on the door, excited to see Trixie after a long day at work. Friday night movie nights have become their tradition ever since they became friends and realized that the other was missing all of their movie references, they decided they needed to educate the other on what “good movies” are. She knocks on the door more times than necessary to the beat of the song she wrote in her head on the way over here. From inside she hears a loud noise and then Trixie’s voice yelling, “come in!” 

Katya lets herself into the apartment that she has become familiar with over the last couple of months. She likes it here, everything is always neat and put together, the complete opposite of the chaos that she lives in. She likes that she can see little touches of Trixie all over the living space despite her having a roommate. Trixie is in the pillows on the couch with the light pink flowers, she’s in the collection of records stacked neatly on a shelf by a record player, she’s in the big vintage poster of an old Barbie advertisement hung on the wall, she’s all over the place in little touches that could only have been done by Trixie. The first time she came here and saw Trixie in the space, she could see and feel the way she just seemed to fit in with the decor, as if it was an extension of herself. She immediately felt comfortable and warm, like being in the apartment was a permanent hug from Trixie. 

“Trixie?” Katya calls out upon entering. Trixie isn’t by the door, and she’s not anywhere she can see at the moment, she slowly moves into the apartment looking for her friend. 

“I’m in here!” Trixie calls back from the direction of her bedroom. 

Katya leaves her shoes by the door and walks to Trixie’s room to see what’s keeping her. She reaches the open doorway and takes in the scene before her. Trixie is in her typical movie night outfit that she’s grown used to, pink flannel pajama pants with a plain white tank top, so unlike her usual dresses and skirts but still her with the bright pink she seems to embody at this point.  
The first time Katya saw her like this she was so taken aback that she didn’t know how to properly form a sentence. Trixie had laughed at her and told her that she couldn’t be a full Barbie fantasy all the time. 

Still, everytime Katya sees her like this she gets a warm feeling in her stomach. Trixie usually puts so much effort into looking put together and glamorous, to see her dressed down like this is rare and Katya relishes in the fact that she is one of the few people that Trixie trusts enough to see her like this. Katya thinks she looks adorable with her freckles on display and her hair tied back messily, but she knows better than to tell Trixie that. 

Inside her room, Trixie seems to have knocked over the cup she keeps resting on her desk that holds her vast collection of makeup brushes. 

“You okay?” Katya asks with a teasing tone. Trixie’s makeup collection is her pride and joy, and she looks stressed to see it all over her desk and floor. 

Trixie looks up at her, glaring slightly, “are you gonna help me or just stand there?” 

Katya laughs lightly, getting down on her knees to pick up the brushes covering the floor as Trixie cleans up the ones on her desk. “So, what movie are we watching tonight?” she asks to make conversation. She’s hoping that Trixie won’t make her watch another musical, but it is her turn to pick the movie and to be completely honest she would watch anything Trixie wants if she gets to see her get excited about it. She loves the way Trixie gets a childlike excitement on her face when she watches a movie she loves, it’s infectious and it makes her appreciate movies she would hate watching at any other time. 

“We are watching Miss Congeniality,” she says excitedly. 

“Is that the one where they turn Sandra Bullock into a real woman?” Katya responds, moving her body in a weird wave motion to emphasize ‘real woman.’ 

“Yeah! Have you seen it?” Trixie asks, clearly excited to have found a movie that both her and Katya have seen and (hopefully) enjoyed. 

“No, but I have seen the porno, and if it’s anything like that I am going to love it mama,” Katya answers back with a huge smile and her body wiggling in excitement at her own response. 

Trixie groans and tilts her head back to face the ceiling, exasperated, “of course you watched the porn.” 

Katya laughs at her reaction and finishes picking up all the makeup brushes from the floor. She arranges them carefully between her hands before she stands up. Trixie is still organizing the mess on her desk, and Katya turns to her, holding the brushes out to her like they’re a bouquet of flowers. “Trixie Mattel, will you go watch a movie with me,” she asks jokingly in her best seductive voice.  
Trixie just screams, but takes the brushes nonetheless with a “thank you.” Trixie puts them all back in their cup and gives the desk and floor a once over to make sure they didn’t miss anything. When she deems everything acceptable, she turns back to Katya. 

“Come on let’s go watch the movie dummy,” Trixie says, gently pushing Katya out of the room by her shoulders. Katya moves with her willingly, and they walk through the hall and into the living room. Katya immediately dives for the couch, ready to relax and watch a movie with Trixie after a long week. Trixie leaves Katya to get comfortable on the couch while she goes to the kitchen to make some popcorn. Katya flops down on the couch wiggling around to get comfortable. When Trixie comes back with a big bowl of popcorn for them to share, Katya is still trying to get comfortable on the couch, ever restless. Trixie puts the popcorn on the table and grabs the remote, moving to sit on the couch next to her restless friend. She has to bat Katya’s leg out of the way to make space to sit on the couch and Katya whines, “I was finally comfortable bitch.” 

Trixie sits down on the now empty spot and looks at Katya who is now back to squirming around as she deadpans, “Sorry, I didn’t really feel like a foot in my ass tonight.” 

Katya laughs, slapping her knee that’s now back to the floor, still searching for a comfortable place to rest, “Maybe tomorrow?” she wheezes out through her laughter. 

“Yeah, tomorrow sounds good, are you free?” Trixie shoots back, laughing along with Katya as she pulls Katya’s legs up to rest on her lap. She turns the TV on, pulling up Netflix to put on the movie. She feels Katya’s feet moving around in her lap, and puts her hand on her leg to get her to stop fidgeting. After she gets the movie pulled up, she leans over Katya’s legs to grab the bowl of popcorn and puts it on top of her legs. “You better not kick this bowl of popcorn into the air with your flailing,” she comments before she settles back into the couch to get comfortable. 

Katya stretches her hand out toward the bowl and lets out a pitiful noise when she realizes she can’t reach the bowl from the only position she has deemed comfortable. “Trixie,” she whines, “I can’t reach.” 

Trixie looks over to see Katya pouting, she looks entirely too endearing for an adult that’s pouting like a child that isn’t getting their way. She rolls her eyes at her childish behavior, but the smile tugging at the sides of her mouth shows that she’s not really annoyed. “Sit up then,” she says, lifting up the bowl so Katya can retrieve her legs. 

Begrudgingly, Katya lifts her legs off of Trixie’s lap and moves into a sitting position with an unnecessary groan. Katya scoots closer to Trixie than is strictly necessary to be able to reach into the bowl easier. The two fall into silence as the movie starts, eating popcorn and enjoying the calm that always seems to encase them when they’re together. 

The two of them finish the bowl of popcorn in record time, and Trixie puts the now empty bowl back on the table. She settles back into her seat on the couch, and just when she situates into the dent in the couch she’s formed, Katya starts wiggling around on the couch again almost immediately. Trixie is prepared to endure Katya’s fidgeting for the foreseeable future, but just when she starts to get irritated with the constant movement, Katya settles in right next to her and rests her head on Trixie’s shoulder. For a few minutes, they both sit still, focusing on the movie. 

When Katya feels herself get restless again a little while later, she reaches for Trixie’s hand who gives it to her willingly. They’ve found that if Katya keeps her hands busy with something, it makes it easier for Katya to keep the rest of her body stationary, so she’s taken to playing with Trixie’s fingers when she doesn’t have anything else to occupy her hands. She likes the way that Trixie’s fingers become malleable in her hands and how she can bend them back and forth with ease. 

Katya’s body leans further and further into Trixie’s as the movie continues on, Trixie relishing in the weight of Katya against her. Katya is still playing with Trixie’s hand, bending her fingers back and forth, when they hear the door to the apartment open. 

Katya looks up to the door to see a tall Asian girl with the most stunning makeup she has ever seen walk into the apartment. She’s never met Trixie’s roommate before, she’s always gone when Trixie invites her over, but based on what Trixie has told her about her roommate, she thinks she will like her. 

Trixie pauses the movie and sits up straighter, taking her hand back from Katya’s grasp. Katya sits up too, still looking at Kim who now seems to have registered that they have a guest in the living room. “Oh, hi, I didn’t realize Trixie had a date over,” Kim says apologetically. 

“Oh, I’m not her date, I’m Katya, Trixie’s friend,” Katya responds awkwardly. They’re still sitting close together with their legs and shoulders touching, so she has to crane her neck to look at Trixie who is blushing and looking away from her, appearing just as awkward as Katya feels. 

“Oh so you’re Katya,” Kim says smugly, looking at Trixie with a teasing sparkle in her eye, “Trixie won’t shut up about you.” 

Katya perks up at that, wondering what Trixie could have told Kim about her. She turns to look at Trixie with a smirk in place, ready to tease her about this relentlessly. Trixie’s face is rosy with a blush and she’s very nearly glaring at Kim. Katya stops in her tracks, putting the teasing on pause, and looks between the two roommates who appear to be having a silent conversation with their faces. 

Before anyone can say anything else, Trixie rises from her seat on the couch and grabs the empty popcorn bowl, walking into the kitchen silently. Kim gives Katya an awkward smile and then follows Trixie into the kitchen, leaving Katya alone to wonder what just happened. A couple of long minutes later, Trixie and Kim come back into the room, Trixie moving back to sit on the couch again. Kim keeps walking and points in the direction of the bedrooms, “I’ll just be in my room, it was nice meeting you Katya,” she says politely, if a little awkward. 

“Oh are you sure you don’t want to stay and watch with us, there’s plenty of room,” Katya offers, always one to make people feel welcome and included, even if the movie is nearly over. 

“Maybe next time,” Kim says in a way that seems slightly pointed, but Katya can’t be sure. 

After Kim leaves the room and they hear her bedroom door close, Trixie clears her throat awkwardly, “Uh, do you need anything?” 

“No I’m okay,” Katya responds, still feeling a bit lost as to what just happened, “Are you okay?” she asks, hoping Trixie can clear some things up. 

“I’m great, just a bit cold, I’m gonna grab a blanket,” Trixie replies, clearly trying to change the subject and get away from Katya for a moment. Katya lets her retrieve a blanket in peace, not daring to bring up what is clearly a sensitive subject for reasons she does not know. 

Trixie returns to the couch with her blanket and sits back on the couch, grabbing the remote and settling back in to finish the movie. Katya settles back into her spot next to Trixie, grabbing the corner of the blanket to slide under with her and once again grabbing her hand and resuming playing with her fingers. They go back to watching the movie and a few minutes later, Katya finally registers what happened earlier with Kim. Kim mistook them as a couple just like Ginger did last week. Katya freezes, her body going slightly rigid. She feels Trixie squeeze her hand that is still entwined with her as she gently asks, “you okay?” 

Katya hums in response, relaxing her muscles and forcing herself to calm down a little. The air around them feels charged with something that isn’t normally there. Usually when Katya is with Trixie everything feels easy, Trixie keeps her grounded and makes her feel comfortable to just exist, but things feel heavy in the moment and she doesn’t like it. She wonders if Trixie is weirded out by the fact that Kim thought they were on a date and hopes she isn’t upset. She suddenly becomes aware of all the places she’s touching Trixie and how they might appear to be a couple with the way they’re cuddled together under a blanket watching a movie. Katya has always been tactile, and Trixie has never complained about it, but now she’s worried that all this time Trixie has hated all the hugging and cuddling and casual touches that Katya bestows upon her. Trixie is probably upset that her roommate thought that they were dating and Katya is probably making it worse by doing the exact behavior that caused this mess in the first place. Maybe Trixie doesn’t even like Katya as a person at all and she should stop pestering her with her constant need to be around Trixie. 

“I can hear you thinking Kat,” Trixie pulls her out of her spiral and brings her back to the moment, squeezing her hand lightly. 

Katya takes a deep breath and mumbles a sorry, pulling her focus back to the movie. Trixie isn’t shy about her feelings, if she had a problem, she would tell her, Katya reassures herself. Katya feels herself relax again and wraps her arm around Trixie’s middle, needing more contact to keep her grounded. Without Trixie’s fingers to play with, Katya takes to squeezing the skin above Trixie’s hip, kneading it with her fingers in a way she hopes isn’t uncomfortable for Trixie. Katya manages to enjoy the rest of the movie in a relative calm, ignoring the swarm of feelings in her gut for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment if you feel like it, or come talk to me on tumblr if you prefer @dykegoblins!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie and Katya get drunk and are mistaken as a couple by a woman trying to pursue Katya, they go along with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this one is a little longer than the others and I did rewrite it 3 times, I am still not entirely happy with how it turned out but I hope you enjoy! Thank you SO much to acid beta for reading multiple versions of this and being the most encouraging, this wouldn't have been completed without you, my angel!

Katya is drunk. Maybe a little too drunk judging by the fact that she can’t remember the name of the girl she’s been talking to for the past fifteen minutes. She also can’t really remember what they were talking about. All she knows is she is very drunk and she’s still waiting for Trixie to get back from the bathroom so they can…do something. She can’t remember what. Trixie has been gone for a long time and she briefly wonders if she should go find her, maybe she got lost or something. 

They’re at a bar for a party with a friend of Trixie’s that works in the music industry in the hopes that Trixie will be able to make some connections with people that can help her achieve her dream of being a recorded folk artist, but when they arrived everyone had already started drinking for the night and the hopes of meeting anyone important had dwindled quickly when she realized this was less of an event for networking and more of an event for getting hammered after the week. Soon after, they had joined in on the drinking, quickly catching up to the messy state of the rest of the group. Somewhere along the line, Trixie had excused herself to go to the bathroom, and Katya hasn’t seen her since. Katya, uncomfortable being left with the group of strangers she had found herself in, wandered off to the bar to get another drink and took a seat where a woman struck up a conversation.

The girl sitting next to her at the bar is looking at her intensely and leaning in toward her, “So, do you want to get out of here?” she asks in a sultry tone. Objectively, the woman is attractive, she’s tall and brunette with sharp features and immaculate makeup and hair, but Katya isn’t in the mood for a hook up tonight, even if it has been a while since she’s gotten laid. 

Before Katya can even think of a response she hears someone yell her name far too loud from somewhere behind her. Spinning around in her seat, she sees Trixie smiling brightly at her and looking less put together than she did the last time Katya saw her. She wants to tease the usually uptight woman her about looking less than perfect but judging by how she’s feeling right now, she probably isn’t looking much better. She stands up to move toward Trixie, feeling her stomach flutter, probably from the amount of alcohol she has consumed and the abrupt shift from sitting to standing. Trixie meets her half way and they’re both smiling at each other like it’s been years since they’ve last seen each other and not half an hour. 

Trixie reaches out and takes both of Katya’s hands in hers, trying her best to make focused eye contact as she tells Katya but failing miserably. She’s speaking as if what she has to say is the most important fact in the world, “I missed you.” 

Katya’s smile somehow widens further as she squeezes Trixie’s hands that are still laced with hers and responds with the same intensity that Trixie had, “I missed you too, Trix.” 

Trixie lets go of her hands, but stays close to Katya as she asks, “have I ever told you how much I love you?” Trixie asks, a bit lighter than before but still with a reverence that tells Katya she really means it. There’s something about the intensity in Trixie’s face that fills her with a warmth that she only ever gets around Trixie and she loves it. 

“Please, tell me more” Katya responds, flipping her hair behind her shoulders teasingly, trying to lighten the mood a bit seeing as they’re standing in the middle of a crowded bar, not the best setting for such a tender moment. 

Trixie either doesn’t pick up on Katya’s sarcasm or she just doesn’t care because she once again responds with the same honest intensity, “I really do love you, you make me happy when I’m around you.” 

Katya’s eyes fill with tears, overtaken by an overwhelming affection for her friend, and she chokes out, “I love you too, you lesbian.” 

Trixie laughs a little at that and the air around them becomes a little less intense. “Aww, am I making you cry?” she coos are Katya, apparently noticing the tears that have built in Katya’s eyes even in her drunken state. 

“Shut up,” Katya says, wiping at her eyes half heartedly, “you’re just so beautiful that you make me cry,” she’s only half joking, she does find Trixie beautiful, anyone with eyes would. 

Trixie’s face lights up at the compliment and she opens her mouth to say something, but is interrupted by the woman from the bar approaching them. Trixie notices her walking over and looks her up and down suspiciously. 

Katya had completely forgotten that she was having a conversation with someone else just moments before, and that she got up before she even answered the woman’s question. The woman, who’s name Katya still can’t remember, puts her hand on Katya’s lower back, leaning in to be heard over the noise of the bar, “sorry, I didn’t realize you were taken,” she says loud enough for them both to hear. 

At that, Katya looks at Trixie, realizing that this woman thinks they are a couple, and notices that Trixie has a less than friendly look on her face at the intrusion to their conversation. She tries to get Trixie to make eye contact with her so that she can silently communicate with her, but Trixie doesn’t tear her eyes away from the stare off her and this woman seem to be having. 

Katya does the only thing she can think of to break up this awkward encounter. She slides over to Trixie’s side and puts her arm around her waist, addressing the woman from the bar, “sorry, but this one is the only one taking me home tonight,” she says with as light a tone as she can muster and a wink. 

She feels Trixie lean into her touch even though Katya can tell by her slightly damp lower back that she is too warm in this overcrowded bar. She squeezes Trixie’s hip to try to communicate to her to go along with the act she’s putting on, and is relieved when Trixie doesn’t even waver at the charade Katya has created. 

The woman raises her pointed eyebrow and looks Trixie up and down as if she’s sizing her up before she puts on a friendly smile that seems misplaced on her face, “well it was nice meeting you.” 

“Thanks for keeping her company while I was in the bathroom,” Trixie responds, and Katya thinks she can hear a bit of smugness in her tone when she says it and sends out a silent thank you that Trixie is not only willing to go along with this, but is also selling the story. 

The woman’s smile wavers a bit before she says, “no problem,” and walks off into the crowd, leaving Trixie and Katya alone again. 

It takes Katya a few seconds to remember that her arm is wrapped around Trixie’s waist, and she removes it and steps back so her and Trixie can face each other again. She smiles a bit awkwardly at Trixie and says, “thanks for going along with that, I wasn’t really feeling it.” 

Trixie looks up at Katya, and Katya notes that her face has become flushed, probably from the drinking, “it wasn’t my first time pretending to be someone’s girlfriend to save them from unwanted flirting, she was hot though.” There’s something in Trixie’s eyes that Katya can’t quite decipher, it looks almost like uncertainty, though Katya isn’t sure what she would be uncertain about, they’ve talked about the women they find attractive many times. 

“Yeah I guess, she wasn’t really my type,” Katya shrugs. In truth, she isn’t sure what it was that stopped her from going home with the woman, she just wasn’t feeling it. She must have had some internal feeling of obligation to leave with Trixie since she invited her here, that must be it. 

“What is your type?” Trixie asks, suddenly very interested in the conversation, which is fair considering Katya’s type is easily narrowed down to two characteristics: ‘woman’ and ‘breathing,’ though the second one is up for debate according to her own joking. 

“I only have eyes for you, baby” Katya responds with a cheesy smile and a shimmy of her shoulders, changing the topic. She doesn’t want to analyze why she didn’t go home with that woman right now. 

A blush reaches the tips of Trixie’s ears as she shoves Katya’s shoulder, “shut up, you’re an idiot.” 

“That is no way to talk to your girlfriend, Tracy.” 

Trixie’s ears keep getting redder and her voice has gone up in pitch, “Oh my god, whatever, are you ready to leave?” 

“Yeah let’s get out of here,” Katya is more than happy to get out of the noisy bar and outside into the cool night. 

Katya grabs Trixie’s hand so they don’t get separated from each other before she starts navigating them out of the crowd and through the front doors. The air outside is crisp, and Katya immediately feels herself cool down, not even realizing how hot she had gotten inside the bar until she was no longer in it. Trixie pulls out her phone to order them an Uber. “You can crash at my place if you want,” Trixie offers, they’re both still tipsy and she doesn’t trust either one of them to get home in one piece if they’re alone. 

“Sounds great, thanks,” Katya accepts easily. Going home to her apartment that she knows is in a state of disarray after she tore her closet apart looking for something to wear tonight is completely unappealing. She’d much rather spend the night in Trixie’s apartment that she has never seen less than tidy. 

The ride to Trixie’s is uneventful, their driver doesn’t make an effort to make conversation, so they ride in a relative silence, broken only by the occasional laughing fits they inexplicably have whenever they make eye contact. 

They make it up the stairs and into the apartment without a struggle, taking off their shoes and trying to keep quiet so they don’t wake up Kim. 

“I can sleep on the couch,” Katya offers, suddenly feeling like she’s imposing on Trixie despite being invited to spend the night. 

“Unless you want Kim to wake you up at an unreasonable hour, I suggest you sleep with me,” Trixie responds, “my bed is big enough for two people, it’s no problem.” 

Katya takes a second to think about it before she nods and follows Trixie down the hall, unsure why she’s suddenly nervous. When they get to Trixie’s room, Trixie opens up a drawer and tosses Katya some clothes to sleep in before getting her own pajamas out. Katya thanks her, and Trixie goes into the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. Katya changes into the clothes Trixie gave her, smiling when she can smell Trixie on them. Trixie comes back into the room with a clean face, ready for sleep. 

“Do you have some makeup remover I can borrow?” Katya asks. 

“It’s on the counter,” Trixie responds, pointing lazily in the direction of the bathroom, clearly exhausted. Katya watches as she slides into bed before she heads off to the bathroom to take off her makeup. 

When Katya gets back from the bathroom, Trixie is already in bed and looks like she is on the verge of falling asleep any second. She tosses her earlier clothes to the corner of the room and heads toward the bed. She lingers by the side of the bed Trixie isn’t occupying and slowly peels back the covers to join her friend in the bed. She wiggles around in the bed for a while to try to get comfortable and when she finally settles she feels Trixie roll over to face her. Katya rolls over to face her and bops her on the nose with her finger. Trixie’s nose scrunches up and she lets out a small puff of a laugh. 

“I had fun tonight,” Katya breaks the calm silence that fell over them, “thanks for forcing me to go out.” 

“I am amazing aren’t I,” Trixie replies smugly.

Katya hums, “yeah, you are.” 

“Did you just compliment me sincerely?” Trixie sounds disbelieving when she says it. 

“Yes?” Katya responds, unsure why she’s being questioned in the first place. 

“You never do that,” Trixie explains at Katya’s confusion, “you hate being sincere, when I try to be nice to you you pretend to throw up.” 

“I do not,” Katya’s voice has gotten a little louder with her indignation and it sounds overbearing in the room that has been consumed by the calm that only comes with the early hours of the morning when the whole world should be asleep. 

“Yes you do, everytime, and then you call me rotted.” 

Katya tries to think of a time where she complimented Trixie in some way and although she is certain that it has happened before, she can’t help but find the truth in what Trixie is saying. She hates sincere moments of tenderness, they make her feel antsy like she wants to run away because someone that has so much light to offer like Trixie shouldn’t bother with someone like Katya. But now she regrets not letting Trixie know how much she appreciates her. 

“Well I do think you’re amazing you know,” she finally says after a little too long. 

“You do?” Trixie asks back, and the sincerity of the question makes Katya’s heart hurt and making Trixie understand how much she means to Katya feels so important. 

“Of course, you’re my favorite person,” Katya tries to put as much force into her voice as possible to convey just how much she means it. 

A bright smile blooms on Trixie’s face and a small blush covers the apples of her cheeks, “you’re my favorite person too,” she says through her smile. 

Katya smiles back just as bright and feels a warmth spread through her all the way down to her toes. Silence once again falls over them as they smile at each other, growing more and more tired. Katya can feel sleep pulling at her but she doesn’t want to fall asleep when this moment has been so good. It occurs to her that tomorrow morning she will wake up in bed next to Trixie and she wonders what kind of person she is in the morning, if she wakes up early or sleeps in late. After the night they had she imagines the morning will be rough for both of them. She wonders if Trixie will even remember most of the night after the amount she drank, she hopes she does. 

When her eyes refocus on Trixie, her eyes are closed and she looks more peaceful and calm than Katya has ever seen her. Katya observes her for a minute, appreciating the way her face has smoothed out with sleep and how her hair is wild around her face, covering her pillow. She closes her eyes, trying to let sleep overtake her, but finsding herself suddenly too awake to do so. 

She lets her mind wander as she tries to fall asleep. She had fun tonight, she hasn’t gone out like that in a long time, she tends to keep to herself and avoid crowded places whenever she can. She much prefers hanging out with a small group of friends to going out, but this was a fun change of pace. She’s glad that Trixie pressured her into going out, even if at the time she was certain she was going to have a miserable time. 

She opens her eyes to look at Trixie again, her lips are slightly parted and her eyes are moving around behind her eyelids, Katya wonders what she dreams about. Maybe she’ll ask in the morning. She suddenly becomes aware of the fact that tomorrow morning she will wake up next to Trixie and that fact feels important for some reason. She’s excited to find out what Trixie is like in the morning when she’s just woken up, if she’s grumpy or if she likes mornings, if she likes to sleep in or wake up early. She feels lucky that she gets to discover that. 

Her mind drifts to earlier that night, to the woman from the bar, it occurs to her that despite her lying, she did actually end up letting Trixie take her home. She laughs a little to herself, careful to keep quiet for the woman in bed next to her. It crosses her mind that this was the third time that they had been mistaken as a couple, and she’s thankful that she didn’t panic at the thought this time.  
Her mind continues to wonder until she eventually drifts off into a more peaceful sleep than she’s had in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, I appreciate comments and criticism of any kind either here or on tumblr [@dykegoblins](dykegoblins.tumblr.com)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie and Katya ask a stranger to take their picture, who says they're cute together, leading to a rather awkward moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is almost the end! Thank you to anyone that has kept reading this story, I appreciate it so much! Thank you like always to Acid Beta for reading this over and for being the best cheerleader I could ask for, love you!

“Trixie I can’t,” Katya states very firmly. Trixie wants to take a picture for Instagram and they’ve been arguing back and forth about who should ask a stranger to take their picture for them, and Katya is standing her ground that Trixie has to be the one to ask someone. 

Trixie is used to Katya’s particular brand of weird, and recognizes her tone as one of mild panic and fear at the thought of talking to strangers. It isn’t unusual, sometimes Katya is in a headspace where the thought of other people knowing and acknowledging that she exists is too much for her to handle, and today has been one of those days. She woke up already feeling overwhelmed, wanting to hide in her bed until she felt better. However, today also happens to be the day that her and Trixie planned to go to the art festival being held in the city. She’s surprised that she even left her apartment instead of cancelling her plans, but Trixie had texted her bright and early about how excited she was for the festival and she just couldn’t bring herself to let Trixie down. So here she is, trying not to panic in a crowd full of people and completely unable to speak to anyone aside from Trixie. 

“Fine, I’ll do it,” Trixie decides with a huff. Katya knows she isn’t really annoyed with her, she’s always been patient and understanding of her mental health and never holds it against her. Katya doesn’t know how she puts up with her, if she was friends with herself she would have left already. 

They stand there for a couple of seconds, Katya starting to calm back down now that she knows she won’t have to look a stranger in the eye and speak, and Trixie looking around at the crowd of people for someone that seems approachable. Trixie spots a woman standing alone across the path that seems friendly enough and heads off to ask for her help. 

“Wait!” she hears Katya call behind her, and before she can even fully turn to face her, Katya is at her side grabbing her hand to not get lost in the crowd. Trixie holds onto her hand tightly as she pulls her through the crowd of people on her way to ask the friendly seeming stranger for help. All day, Katya has been in awe of the way that Trixie walks with a confidence that makes people move out of her way, with her shoulders back and firm steps, she wishes she was able to be as sure of herself, that she didn’t try to make herself invisible in public. She’s also thankful that it’s meant people haven’t been bumping up against them very much because her nerve endings feel like they are on fire with the amount of stimulation they are already being bombarded with, and that level of physical contact would push her over the edge for sure. Just the thought of strangers touching her is making her skin crawl. 

When they finally make it through the crowd and end up in front of the woman, she watches as Trixie puts on a smile that she reserves for the sake of being polite to strangers. “Hi, sorry to bother you, but would you mind taking our picture?” Trixie asks in her sweetest voice, it’s so unlike her usual loud, unfiltered voice, that Katya almost doesn’t recognize it as her. 

The woman smiles at her and agrees easily, “where do you want me to take them?” 

“Over there by the installment,” Trixie responds and the woman nods and lets Trixie lead them all back toward the art installment in question. The installment is a giant pair of metal scissors that Trixie immediately made a lesbian joke about, which she then laughed way too hard at, before insisting that they had to take a photo with it. Katya agreed easily, absorbing some of Trixie’s enthusiasm. 

They reach the location and Trixie hands her phone to the woman before turning to Katya, she smiles reassuringly at her to try to snap Katya out of her anxious state and it helps a little knowing that Trixie is with her. If she focuses on the fact that she is taking pictures with Trixie and not on the fact that there is a stranger staring at her through a camera, she will be okay. Katya smiles back at her, letting her know she’s okay and she turns to face the camera, holding her arm out for Trixie to slide into. Trixie moves next to her and slides her own arm around Katya, holding her hip loosely and smiling brightly. Katya remembers to take her eyes off her friend and smiles for the camera, slightly forced. The woman snaps a photo and lowers the phone, moving to hand it back to Trixie. 

“Sorry, can you take a couple more?” Trixie asks politely. 

The woman nods and Katya looks over at Trixie, waiting for directions she is sure Trixie is about to give her for her perfect photo. Trixie removes her arm from behind Katya’s back and starts messing with her hair, trying to smooth it down which only makes it more messy, so Katya takes her hands from her head and smooths it down for her, knowing that if Trixie’s hair turns out less than perfect in the photos, she will never hear the end of it. She lets her fingers card through Trixie’s hair, removing some of the small tangles in it and brushing it out of her face. Trixie thanks her with a sweet smile and a squeeze on her arm. 

“How do you want to pose this time?” Katya asks, certain that Trixie has an exact idea for the photo she wants to upload to Instagram, she always does. 

“I was thinking we could do the classic prom pose?” Trixie suggests with a slight blush on her face, already knowing that Katya will make fun of her for the choice like she did last time. 

Katya groans at the cheesy idea, “fine but only if we can do my pose after,” she argues back with a smirk, already having an idea she knows Trixie won’t like. 

“Oh god, I’m going to regret this, aren’t I,” Trixie groans, but breaks into a smile when she hears Katya wheeze at her distress, Katya knows she’ll agree regardless. 

“Almost definitely,” Katya confirms with another smirk, turning on her feet so her back is facing Trixie, waiting for arms to wrap around her waist. 

Warm arms wrap around her and she feels a familiar warmth spread through her body that she associates with Trixie. It makes her feel more grounded than she has felt all day and a smile blooms on her face that she didn’t have to force this time. The pleasant warmth of Trixie against her back is comforting despite how much she’s been sweating all day, it’s a different kind of warmth and she revels in it. 

The woman takes another photo, smiling at them, and Trixie squeezes her hips before releasing her from her grasp. Katya immediately misses the weight of Trixie’s body against her back. 

“Do you want another?” the woman offers, perhaps having overheard their earlier conversation, but not appearing to be annoyed by them just yet. 

“Just one more, thanks,” Trixie responds for them again, smiling at the woman again in gratitude. 

Trixie directs her gaze at Katya with mild fear in her eyes and raises her eyebrow in question at her, waiting for direction. 

Katya smirks at her, wiggling her eyebrows in the way she knows irritates Trixie to no end. She takes Trixie by the shoulders and pushes her back toward the scissors a little more and places herself in front of Trixie. Before she turns around, she tells Trixie, “catch my feet,” then she kicks her legs up, barely catching the slight alarm in Trixie’s eyes, and getting up into a handstand. Trixie just barely manages to catch her feet before Katya kicks her in the face and she grunts at the force that Katya swings her legs up with. Katya spreads her legs open so Trixie’s face will be visible between them and she raises one arm, putting her middle and pointer finger up in a V shape and moving it toward her mouth so she can put her tongue between them, the universal sign for lesbianism. 

She’s glad the woman seems to find the humor in the pose, she chuckles at the odd sight in front of her and raises the phone back up in front of her. She takes the picture and lowers the phone once again. Katya flips herself upright again, her face bright red from being upside down like that. When she makes eye contact with Trixie again, she rolls her eyes at her and Katya laughs. 

The woman walks toward them to give Trixie her phone back, “thank you so much, I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” Trixie says, gesturing toward Katya with her head on the word ‘that.’ Katya wheezes at the half hearted insult and the woman smiles at them both. 

“It was no problem,” she responds, “you two are cute together!” 

“Thank you!” Katya responds brightly before she realizes the implications of what the woman said. 

Trixie looks at her with surprise on her face, half surprised at Katya readily agreeing with the woman and half at the fact that Katya responded at all. 

Katya’s face somehow gets redder in embarrassment, cursing her mouth for moving faster than her brain. She opens her mouth to say something to make this situation less awkward, or maybe to correct herself, but nothing comes out except a puff of air. 

The woman smiles at them both, tells them it was nice meeting them, and is on her way, leaving Trixie and Katya alone in an awkward silence that neither of them know how to break. 

For a few moments they just stand there looking at each other, both of their faces red with a blush, until Trixie clears her throat and lifts her phone, scrolling through the photos to distract herself, “these came out good,” she says, changing the topic away from the tension Katya created. 

Katya hums in response, words still not making their way out of her mouth. She’s twisting her fingers in her hand in nerves, unsure what to do or say after her mistake. She doesn’t know why she let that slip out of her mouth, she just didn’t think before she spoke and she didn’t realize the full implication of the woman’s words. Her mind heard the compliment at face value, not reading into the implications the phrase held She’s worried that she’s freaked Trixie out, she hasn’t commented on what happened and it’s making Katya’s mind run rampant with all the repercussions of her words. Maybe Trixie will be creeped out and never speak to her again, maybe she’ll be angry and yell at Katya which she could not in any way handle, maybe she won’t say anything and this awkward tension will stay between them forever, ruining the friendship that’s made her feel so safe. There are so many scenarios playing out in her head and none of them end well. 

Before Katya can let her mind wander any further, she blurts out, “sorry!” 

Trixie looks up at her, her face is still red, and she cocks her head to the side, “you’re sorry that the pictures are good?” she asks slowly, confused why Katya is apologizing. 

Katya thinks about taking the out that Trixie has just presented her with, and playing her apology off as her just being weird, but she feels like she needs to address the situation head on to put her mind at ease, “no, I’m sorry for making things awkward.” 

“If you’re talking about that pose you made us do, then you should be sorry, you almost knocked my teeth out with your giant boots, and you forced everyone to witness your rampant lesbianism,” Trixie jokes back, she seems uncomfortable and Katya is mad at herself for making her feel that way with her own stupidity. As much as Trixie has told Katya she is bad with sincerity, Trixie is just as bad at having serious conversations, always making jokes to try to lighten the mood and avoid addressing the situation. 

Katya sighs, taking a deep breath before she continues, “I’m sorry I led that woman to believe we were dating, I wasn’t thinking about what she was implying when she called us cute, and I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, my mouth just lost its filter and it came out, I’m sorry” she lets out in one long breath. 

“Oh,” Trixie pauses, “it’s fine,” Trixie’s voice is soft and she has an unreadable expression on her face. She takes a beat and then looks at Katya who still has a panicked look in her eyes and she reaches out to grab Katya’s hand and give it a squeeze in comfort. She smiles at Katya warmly, “it’s really okay Katya, don’t worry.”

Usually someone telling her not to worry just makes her worry more, but Katya breaths a little easier at Trixie’s response, even though she still feels a tension between them despite clearing the air. She nods her head once, and moves to look over Trixie’s shoulder at the pictures they took, she has to prop herself up on her tip toes so she can rest her chin on Trixie’s shoulder because of their height difference. Trixie scrolls through the pictures, giving Katya time to inspect each one, and she shifts her weight to rest on her hip, making it a little easier for Katya to reach her shoulder. 

“We do look cute though,” Katya says after looking through the many photos that were taken. 

Trixie hums her agreement, “I think this one is my favorite,” she says pausing on one of the pictures of them in the cheesy prom pose. 

“You would pick that one,” Katya rolls her eyes at the predictability. 

“I’m gonna post it on Instagram,” Trixie says, Katya expecting nothing less of her. 

“Send them to me so I can post the clearly superior pose,” Katya demands. 

Trixie rolls her eyes at that, but sends her the pictures nonetheless. Katya takes more time to inspect them on her own phone, zooming in on their faces and smiling at how happy they look in each one. Trixie has complained on multiple occasions about the photos they’ve taken together because Katya’s teeth are perfect and her’s are what she calls “midwestern chic,” but Katya thinks her slightly crooked teeth make her smile more charming than Katya’s could ever be. She particularly likes her smile in the pictures where Trixie is holding her legs up. Even if Trixie complains about the pose, she’s smiling in the photo in a way that can’t be called anything but pure happiness. Katya smiles at the photo, appreciating how genuinely happy she looks in the photo. Even on days when she wants to run and hide, Trixie makes her smile unabashedly. She looks at the picture for a little while longer before she pulls up her own Instagram to post it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment if you want to, or come talk to me on tumblr [@dykegoblins](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dykegoblins)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya makes some realizations and they clear the air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH I can't believe it's the last chapter! Thank you to anyone who read this whole thing it means a lot! Extra thank you to Acid Beta who not only helped by looking over this story but was also my number 1 cheerleader the entire time, she is the entire reason this story was finished and published!

Katya had all but forgotten about the encounter with the confused stranger until later that night. After their mini photo shoot, they had spent some time walking around the different booths, Katya trying to find the weirdest art she could and Trixie following along amusedly. Gradually, the tension had dissolved and the entire interaction with the stranger had left Katya’s mind. Now, they were relaxing on the couch in Trixie’s apartment, tired after a long day of walking around. They’re both relaxing in each other’s company, not feeling the need to fill the space with conversation, and scrolling through their phones. 

Katya pulls up Instagram, checking on the notifications she’s gotten since she posted the photo earlier. There’s a notification that Trixie tagged her in a photo and she clicks on it, leaving a like and a comment on the post, knowing that if she doesn’t, Trixie will just steal her phone later and do it herself. As she continues through the notifications, one in particular catches her eye. Under the photo she posted is a comment reading you guys are so cute together <3

Katya snorts. That’s the second time in one day that they’ve been mistaken as a couple, and in the exact same words too, not to mention the times before today that this exact thing has happened. At this point, she can’t do anything but laugh about it, even just to mask her bewilderment. 

“Hm,” Trixie hums, turning her head to look at what Katya finds amusing. 

“This Instagram comment,” Katya explains, turning her phone and holding it out so Trixie can see the screen. 

Trixie snorts and gives the phone back to Katya. She seems unaffected by the comment, seeming to find the humor in it even after Katya screwed up when that woman said the same thing to them earlier. They resume sitting in a comfortable silence, both doing their own thing. 

However, Katya finds herself unable to brush the comment off this time. After so many people assuming her and Trixie are dating, she still can’t figure out what people are seeing that she isn’t. The photo she posted isn’t out of the ordinary, she has dozens of photos of her and her friends posing with each other. Hell, she has pictures of her in far more explicit poses with many of her other friends. She’s never seen anything wrong about showing affection to her friends and she flaunts her sexuality any chance she gets, and yet she’s only ever mistaken as a couple with Trixie. 

Katya loves touching people. She loves to hug people and feel them against her, she loves to hold her friends’ hands just to know that they’re there, she loves to grab onto the arms or legs or fingers of the person she’s talking to. She just loves physical affection, it reassures her that she is physically present and it’s her way of showing her interest in other people when she’s with them. 

Katya, however, is not used to other people seeing her affection as romantic. She’s never had friends, family, and even strangers assume she is dating any of her other friends the way she’s experienced with Trixie, and she just can’t figure out why it seems to keep happening. 

“Kat, I can hear you thinking from over here, what’s up?” Trixie breaks Katya out of her rapidly swirling thoughts, using her socked toes to nudge Katya’s thigh to gain her attention. 

Katya can’t seem to pull herself out of her spiral though, there has to be a reason this has happened so many times, is there any truth to what they’re saying? Are they acting like a couple and Katya just hasn’t realized? “Are we dating?” she asks abruptly, before she can stop herself. She immediately regrets the question, she knows they aren’t dating, she’s just overthinking things like usual, but she can’t take it back now. 

Trixie is quiet for a beat before she breaks out into her screaming laughter. “Wh—Katya what? What are you asking me?” she asks incredulously and a bit manic. 

“Are we dating?” Katya asks again, more firmly this time. She knows she’s being crazy and that the question is crazy, but now that she asks it she needs to know Trixie’s answer, so she stands her ground. 

“Yes, I heard you the first time,” Trixie responds, a little exasperated. She clicks her phone off and puts it face down on the coffee table in front of them, turning her body to face Katya with one leg tucked up underneath her, giving the conversation her full attention. 

“Well, are we?” Katya questions back, finding it hard to meet Trixie’s eyes that are looking at her intensely. 

Trixie takes a minute to respond, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. When she finally responds, her voice is shaking ever so slightly, “Is this your way of asking me out you absolute psychopath?” 

Katya let’s out a wheeze, glad that Trixie isn’t angry with her, and even more glad that she’s making jokes with her still, even if she can tell that Trixie is a little uncomfortable at the moment with the way she has tensed up in her seat. She appreciates Trixie’s attempt to lighten the mood, but she would prefer Trixie to give her a straight answer and put her out of her misery. 

“Everyone keeps mistaking us as a couple,” she says as if that explains her entire thought process. 

Trixie’s mouth opens slightly, unsure what to say to that and a little in shock at how this conversation has gone. “Just because people think something, doesn’t mean it’s true,” she finally responds, speaking slowly, like she’s explaining something that should be obvious to a small child. 

“Duh, I know that, but I can’t figure out why it keeps happening,” Katya says, slapping her hands down on the couch to emphasize her desperation. 

Trixie is avoiding eye contact now. She isn’t responding anymore, instead, fiddling awkwardly with her hands and looking down at her lap, clearly uncomfortable. Katya lets her mind wander off again in the silence. There has to be a reason for this happening so many times and she is determined to figure out what that reason is so she can fix it and stop making Trixie uncomfortable. 

She thinks back to the first time this happened, when Ginger had been so sure that they were a couple, even thinking that Katya was lying when she denied it. Ginger knows her better than almost anyone, sometimes she knows Katya better than she knows herself, so what was she seeing that Katya wasn’t?

And then it hits her. 

She likes Trixie. 

Oh. 

Obviously she knew she liked her before, they’re friends, best friends, and Katya is never happier or calmer than when she’s with Trixie. She’s also not blind to the fact that Trixie is attractive, when they first met Katya was attracted to her, but it became clear that she wanted to be Trixie’s friend, so she never acted on her sexual attraction. But it never occurred to her that she likes Trixie. In a romantic way. 

Suddenly everything makes sense, all of the time that she spends thinking about Trixie, the way her whole body warms up when Trixie touches her, how seeing Trixie makes her happy even on her worst days. She’s had a crush on her friend this whole time and she didn’t even know. She feels like an idiot. 

She looks over at Trixie who has her eyes still trained on her lap. Did Trixie know that Katya had a crush on her? She must have, if everyone else could see it then Trixie must have too, she’s not stupid. Fuck. Trixie’s probably been taking pity on her this whole time. If she liked Katya back she would have said something, so clearly Katya is the only one with feelings. 

“I am so sorry,” Katya says, resigned to the fact that she’s made a fool of herself and determined to let Trixie know that she won’t have to deal with Katya pining after her anymore, even if it means spending less time with her. 

Trixie finally looks up at her, eyes filled with confusion and panic. Katya’s breath hitches, now that she knows she has feelings, looking at Trixie feels different. She’s always known that Trixie is pretty, but this is different. Katya is finally aware of the emotions she’s been holding back and she is certain that she has never seen anyone more beautiful than the blonde in front of her in her entire life. Losing her is going to be devastating. 

“What are you apologizing for?” Trixie’s voice is straining a little as she asks. 

“I’m an idiot,” Katya says as a way of explaining. 

“Finally something we can agree on,” Trixie jokes back. She smiles a little when she says it and Katya feels a tiny bit of hope that maybe things can be okay after this. 

Katya laughs a little at the joke, but the weight of what’s happening is sitting heavy on her chest so it’s missing her usual bright energy. 

“Why are you an idiot?” Trixie asks when Katya doesn’t make a move to say anything else. 

Katya takes a deep breath to steady herself and get ready to potentially ruin one of the best friendships she’s ever had, “I just realized I have a crush on you and I’ve been pining after you like an idiot and you’re been taking pity on me and everyone saw it but me and I am so so sorry Trixie, I didn’t mean toー,” she rushes out in a single breath, only stopping when Trixie puts her hand on her knee, bringing her rapid speech to a halt. 

“Woah, woah, slow down,” Trixie says with a completely unreadable look on her face, “repeat that?” 

“I,” Katya pauses to take a steadying breath, “I have a crush on you,” she says quietly, looking down so she doesn’t have to see the pitying look she knows is on Trixie’s face. 

Trixie is completely silent, her hand is still on Katya’s knee but she is completely still. Katya gives her space to take in the information, trying hard not to panic. After the longest silence of her life, Katya looks up at Trixie, whose mouth is open in shock, and softly says, “please say something.”

“You have a crush on me?” Trixie repeats back at her, shock evident in her voice. 

That wasn’t what Katya was expecting, she thought Trixie would have known. Katya cocks her head in confusion, “you didn’t know?” 

Trixie shakes her head slowly, she looks bewildered. Katya’s relieved that at least Trixie didn’t know, maybe she wasn’t taking pity on her this whole time after all. 

“I’m sorry,” Katya says again. 

“Why are you sorry?” Trixie’s eyes snap back up to hers. 

“Because we’re friends, you don’t need me pining after you like an idiot,” Katya looks back down at her lap as she says it. 

“You’re right,” Trixie says. 

Katya feels like her heart stops and speeds up at the same time. She knew this would happen, but it doesn’t hurt any less, she was at least hoping to be let down easy. 

“You are an idiot,” Trixie continues. 

“I know and I’m sorry, you won’t have to put up with it anymore, I’ll leave you alone,” Katya says, hoping Trixie can hear the sincerity in her voice even through her sadness. 

“No, you don’t get it,” Trixie sounds exasperated now, like Katya is missing something so obvious, but she isn’t sure what she could be missing. 

Katya raises her head back up to look at Trixie, she has a smile on her face and Katya feels her stomach twist, she never thought Trixie would take pleasure in her pain, Trixie has never been cruel before. 

“What do you mean?” Katya’s voice is small. 

“You’re an idiot because I clearly like you too,” Trixie sighs, her smile growing a little at the admission. 

Wait, what? Trixie likes her back? Did she hear that correctly? 

“What?” Katya asks, confusion taking over. 

“I like you too, you absolute dumb bitch,” Trixie says more assertively, putting her hand back on Katya’s knee and squeezing. 

Katya grabs Trixie’s arm and starts laughing, she can’t help it, she can’t believe this is happening. Trixie likes her back. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Katya asks, interested in why her friend has kept this hidden when she is usually so upfront about her thoughts and feelings. 

“I didn’t think you liked me back,” Trixie’s voice is small again, she has a slight blush forming on her cheeks and she’s looking away again. 

A fresh wave of guilt washes over her at the thought of making Trixie feel that way, for hurting her even if it was unintentional. Granted, she didn’t even know she had a crush on Trixie, but now that she knows she can’t fathom the idea of not showing Trixie exactly how much she likes her. 

“We’re idiots,” Katya says, “we’ve been dating this whole time haven’t we?” 

Trixie laughs at that, a blush spreading over her face, “I thought we were at first,” she admits shyly. 

“What?” Katya practically yells, slapping Trixie’s arm, shocked at the new information. 

“I flirted with you the night we met, I thought you were flirting back, and then you started inviting me places and I thought they were dates, but then you told Kim we weren’t dating when you met her and I realized I was being stupid the whole time,” Trixie explains, hardly looking at Katya as she does so. 

Katya opens and closes her mouth, trying to find something, anything to say to that. “Trixie,” she starts, pausing again to gather herself, but all that comes out is a flabbergasted, “what?” 

“I know, I know, I’m stupid,” she says, her blush darkening more than Katya thought possible. 

“I never even kissed you,” Katya says, trying to fathom how she could have unknowingly taken Trixie on dates. And why Trixie would keep going on them when Katya was clearly bad at them. 

“I just thought you were taking things slow,” Trixie shrugs, embarrassed. 

Katya screams, “Oh my god!” 

Trixie covers her face with her hands to hide her embarrassment. 

“Oh my god!” she says again, “I can’t believe this, we are so stupid,” she’s cackling now. 

Trixie’s face is still buried in her hands, but she’s laughing along anyway. 

Katya scoots down the couch so she’s closer to Trixie, trying to pry her hands away from her face to no avail. “Trixie can you look at me?” Katya asks, a smile in her voice. 

Trixie shakes her head stubbornly, not ready to face her embarrassment yet. 

“Come on, look at me,” Katya encourages softly, rubbing her hands up and down Trixie’s arms gently in a way she hopes is comforting. 

Slowly, Trixie removes her hands from her face and sits up to face Katya, her face is still bright red and Katya has never seen anything as cute as a blushing Trixie. “Hi,” is all she says when Trixie finally looks her in the eye. 

Trixie rolls her eyes fondly, “hi,” she says back with the same fondness. 

“We are dumb,” Katya says matter of factly. 

“Yes we are,” Trixie agrees, smiling again. 

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” Katya says, not giving Trixie any time to react before she starts leaning in, planting her lips on Trixie’s in a gentle kiss. She moves her lips against her softly, taking her time to pour all of her affection into the kiss. After several seconds, she pulls away parting their lips, but keeping her face close to Trixie’s.They’re both smiling at each other, resting their foreheads together, just soaking in the moment. 

The shift from Katya’s earlier feelings of doom and guilt to these new feelings of fondness and warmth is like day and night and she can’t believe how lucky she is to have it end up like this. She hasn’t completely wrapped her head around the fact that Trixie actually likes her, that her feelings are returned. 

Being in relationships used to terrify her, having someone else’s expectations that felt she had to live with always caused her to panic and end things, but she doesn’t feel like that now. Being friends with Trixie always made her feel safe and comfortable, and now being with her feels like coming home. She knows that Trixie doesn’t expect anything of her that she can’t give and it makes her feel hopeful that she can be someone that is good at relationships if it’s with Trixie. 

She takes her time to study Trixie’s face up close, appreciating her soft features, Trixie is looking right back at her. 

“So,” Katya practically whispers, “are we dating?” she echos her question from earlier, although this time it makes a touch more sense. She feels a hopeful flutter in her stomach this time too instead of the earlier swarm of confusion. 

“Is this your way of asking me out, you absolute psychopath?” Trixie answers back the same way she did earlier, but her smile is genuine this time, she isn’t trying to mask her feelings anymore. 

“Yeah,” Katya says simply, “do you want to date me?” 

“God yes,” Trixie practically melts into Katya’s body, grasping her waist and pulling her in for another kiss. 

This time, the kiss isn’t gentle, it’s urgent and hungry, built on months of buildup that Katya was unaware of up until now. Trixie pulls her body closer and Katya cups her face, deepening the kiss so she can gently urge her tongue into Trixie’s mouth. Trixie moans into her mouth when their tongues touch for the first time and Katya feels a heat move straight through her body, settling deep in her stomach. She moves her hands around Trixie’s head, lacing her fingers through Trixie’s hair and playing with the curls at the base of her neck. When they start to lose air, Katya uses Trixie’s hair to tilt Trixie’s head back, tugging it gently, and kissing down her neck instead. Trixie whines and Katya moves to climb into Trixie’s lap, planting her knees on either side of Trixie’s lap. 

Katya comes back up to kiss her on the lips again, swallowing all of the delightful noises coming out of Trixie before pulling away. Trixie tries to pull her back, pouting at the loss of Katya’s lips and Katya almost gives in because of how cute she looks when she pouts. 

“I need to fuck you right now or I might die,” Katya says with a serious face. 

Trixie screams, pushing Katya off her lap so they can get up and go to her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end! Let me know what you thought if you'd like either here or on Tumblr [@dykegoblins](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dykegoblins)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought, comments are very appreciated!


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